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I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships-Michael S. Sorensen

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+ 2018 IPA Book Award Winner+ 2018 Readers' Favorite Award WinnerWhat if making one tweak to your day-to-day conversations could immediately improve every relationship in your life?In this 3-hour, conversational read, you’ll discover the whats, whys, and hows of one of the most valuable (yet surprisingly little-known) communication skills—validation. Whether you’re looking to improve your relationship with your spouse, navigate difficult conversations at work, or connect on a deeper level with friends and family, this book delivers simple, practical, proven techniques for improving any relationship in your life.Mastery of this simple skill will enable you to:• Calm (and sometimes even eliminate) the concerns, fears, and uncertainties of others• Increase feelings of love, respect, and appreciation in your romantic relationships• Quickly resolve, or even prevent, arguments• Help others become open to your point of view• Give advice and feedback that sticks• Provide support and encouragement to others, even when you don’t know how to “fix” the problem• And much moreIn short: this skill is powerful. Give the principles and practices in this book a chance and you’ll be amazed at the difference they can make.

Book I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships Review :



I have spent a majority of my adult life in the hyper-masculine world of the militray. I have been taught to suppress feeling and emotions to the point where I can literally turn them off like you would a light switch. I identify as emotionally retarded.Because I was "losing the fight" dealing with personal relationships by just not engaging or fighting so aggressive that the other person would want to quit and escape, I decided to try this.It wasn't a hard read at all. Almost like it was a written conversation I would have with a friend. And started to try it as I read the book, and by the time I finished the book, I had already gotten a success. It was a simple message that read "I appreciate you trying to work hard on our relationship, I know you are trying and that gives me hope."Try it, because it has worked for me. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I am older and set in my ways. But it has already helped this old dog learn a new trick that could save me from being a old, grumpy and lonely man down the road.
This was a lovely quick read, and I would highly recommend it. It only took me two days of light reading to finish as the book is refreshingly short. Having studied psychology and being more than a little bit obsessed with all things related to therapy, I have seen this skill practiced in the most effective therapists. On my normal day-to-day interactions with people…not so much.So take a moment to think about the people that you love being around the most. Why do you love being around them? Obviously they’re awesome. Part of that awesomeness though is derived from the both of you being able for feel heard and cared for by one another. The best and quickest way to achieve that mutual form of love and understanding is through validation. Michael Sorenson uses charming stories to illustrate the overwhelming benefits and concise steps to create a practical approach that you can use in your everyday interactions. After having read it I’ve found myself trying to be more cognizant of times when I have the opportunity to validate a friend or a family member. While it has only been a week, it has certainly been helpful. The best part is that it is incredibly simple too.Quite a bit of the research utilized in the book is from John Gottman who is world-renowned for his research on relationships and what makes them work. If you are looking for books to read in an effort to improve your interpersonal relationships, whether it’s work, dating, marriage, etc., I would say there are 3 main books/authors to turn to. I Hear You- by Michael Sorenson, Hold Me Tight- by Sue Johnson (leading researcher/ developer of EFT), and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work- by John Gottman. Combining the information of all three books will really provide the best tools for you to use in your relationships and give you the best results.There are only two things that I would complain about. 1) I would have loved to see references listed on the back so I could look into some of the studies that were mentioned in greater depth. This isn’t a problem for the average reader, just for people like me who want to dig into the research that was listed. 2) I would have loved more of the author’s insight on self-validation, but maybe we can save that for another book. ;-)Please enjoy this wonderful book and all the insight it provides. You really will see an improvement once you implement it in your life.Happy reading!

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